Welcome to another riveting installment of capital high school attempting to make less “oh-this-is-a-high-school-activity” activities. After a year of dissociation and, literally, depression, compulsive addictions and in some cases, horribly rotting grades all mixed into an elixir so poisonous even Copernicus doesn’t question, we have found ourselves, my little teenyboppers, on a plane or somewhat, normalism. Yes, that is a word, I looked it up. People aren’t afraid to go outside or, on the contrary, angry that they can’t. School exists, or at least what pretentious people would describe as a twisted, dystopian version. And people are slowly crawling and scrambling their way to having an attention span for real life again. Before you flip to the next page allow me to distract you with what I was originally going to drone on about: Senior assassin. If you don’t know the rules, it’s simple, and a beautiful analogy for what some like to call tyranny. I love it. 

Due to a year being rudely snatched away from them like a toddler eyeing a beautiful girls hair, the Seniors, as a result of, shall I say missing out? On their Junior year IB assassin have come across a beautiful compromise thought of by none other than Copernicus himself: Do the same thing but call it Senior Assassin. 

Everybody who plays gets assigned a target for whom they must assassinate, and they get new targets each week. If you are able to shoot or touch your target with a nerf bullet, they are out. If your target removes an article of clothing, you must do the same before shooting them. 

On my gallivanting and exhausting search for information on what has to be the second easiest topic to write about since “Football Games: Who wins and who loses.” I came across a lovely interviewee currently enrolled in IB assassin named Jaylen Earl. 

In his words, the main reason he wanted to join the game was because it was something new and fun to do, and it was something he could do with his friends. 

When I asked him if there has ever been a time in which he feared for his own make-believe life he told me of an incident that happened not too long ago. 

“I was actually by someone’s house and someone else pulled up in their truck with about five people. My partner and I were scared so we had to just speed away.” 

When discussing the topic with Sofia Skinner who is involved with senior assassin, I asked her who she thought was going to win. 

“Definitely one of the boys teams, Ryland and Noah do pretty good, or Bed hes pretty good too.”

I have found in my research that Applebees is the place in which most people let loose (slightly) to test their ability in the removing of their shoes.