Capital Needs This

Zen Payne, Reporter

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School is boring, this is fact, but what if there was a way to make school more interesting, more fun. There is hope.
I have a solution and it involves replacing our desks that are admittedly falling apart and miserably uncomfortable. Through my extensive research, I have discovered: the bumper desk. I kid you not. This exists.
These desk and chair combos come with wheels. WHEELS. This design is guaranteed to make class time more fun and filled with action.
Don’t get me wrong, these desks have both entertainment value along with academic. One advantage these desks have over the current boring ones is that they have wheels! I know I mentioned this earlier, but…Wheels! everything great has wheels and these desks are no exception. Wheels are on a car, on a pen aeroplane, on a LAPTOP! Absolutely no one can take these things away from people when they’re being reckless if they are an integral part of its design. There’s proof of that- somewhere. I’m still researching but I know the proof exists.
Distractions are great are they not? Distractions from the depressing pits of life and distractions from the boring assignments that teachers give out. Why not bring in these desks to spice things up with constant broken bones and sprains?
But I digress. Back to the desks. Anyone could do anything with these desks; including reckless endangerment, distractions, and maybe some work. Consider the options in our own school. We could pit pod against pod, classroom against classroom…the options for school bonding are limitless if we were to purchase these dream desks on wheels.
Honestly, people are complaining all the time that school needs something like this, diversions, fun, joy….so here is the proposition; we buy these desks (as opposed to retrofitting the ones we currently have) and watch hell break loose.